There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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