so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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