she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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