Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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