A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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