And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
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Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
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I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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