I want to stick my p in your. b.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
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I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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