just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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