Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize