Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
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