Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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