i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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