Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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