I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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