We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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