I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize