Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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