i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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