He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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