If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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