I wish i was in the wii world.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
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If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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