Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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