Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
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I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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