my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize