Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
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Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
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I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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