I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize