Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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