I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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