i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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