Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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