I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Buhtt sex?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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