she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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