You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize