the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize