He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize