it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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