my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize