Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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