Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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