but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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