Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize