what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
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Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize