I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
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She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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