good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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