I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he shaved USA in his pubs
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize