It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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