Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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