This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize