I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
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my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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