Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
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I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
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It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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